All or Nothing

So I've really been struggling with my child-like tendencies lately. ...In all seriousness. I am fully willing to admit that there are certain selfish and stubborn elements to my personality... Not to mention my penchant for unrealistic expectations. ...Let's face it - I could be the poster child for instant gratification. I need it when I want it which is right this second.

So yeah... I've been struggling with this for some time now. Being that I'm an adult and all.

I've particularly been coming to blows with this conundrum in my personal relationships... For me, it's black and white and nothing in between. In fact, take that analogy and apply it to all aspects of my life.

Por Ejemplo(s):

If I start an exercise "regime" (which never actually materializes into a "regime"), I start with a 5-mile walk... Because if I break a sweat, I may as well break A LOT of it, right?

When I get my heart set on a car... There is no other. Nothing to change my mind. (See a few posts below)...

Guess what else? I want twins. I want twins simply because I want to acquire from of one pregnancy what you would normally acquire from two.

When I paint the walls of my house, the image of a half-painted wall is stressful for me. Stressful. So I will literally stay up until 2am to finish a wall and avoid that image.

...There simply is no gray. At least not if I can help it.

And I know it's a tough sell - but this attitude, when intermingled with personal affairs, is often hazardous...............

This concept certainly isn't an epiphany for me. I've been self aware for some time... And I've also been lucky enough to have people love me despite my all or nothing mentality. ...But it wasn't until recently that I took the time to notice those that will openly admit to their shortcomings, as if it excuses them of ever trying to make a change. And I don't want to become that person.

"Moderation" may be a foreign word to me, but I am making a conscious effort to learn the language.