Where I Lean

I suppose in the wake of tragedy one gains perspective on how important a true friendship is. About how invaluable and fragile and hard-to-come-by a friend you can truly lean on in your time of need is.

I am fortunate to have evaded tragedy lately, but the loss of friends is something I have been struggling with for some time.

And as if to soften the sting, I've been told 'it's that time in your life' and 'some people just grow apart'. I've even read that my personality is 'prone to zealous loyalty to relationships that are perhaps not deserving of it'.

There are friendships where I feel like I'm banging my head against a wall. Where, before you know it, you're in this person's life. Not by choice really, more by chance. And the unhealthy rapport begins: 'I'll be here for you, but wait, you won't?' and 'Where you're leaning, I'll be here catch', only to see you walk in my time of need ...I swore that I had made a clean cut from these types of relationships. I still swear by it. But where's the escape route?

And in contrast, I have found myself blessed with this cohesive bond that I can only describe myself as lucky to be a part of. A group that I can just fall into in my time of need. People that love me despite me. And people that allow me to lean.

...Maybe it takes the tragic relationships to put things into perspective.

And maybe it is 'that time in my life'... But it's a time I'm making my own.

Thanks, Girls.