Hope

"Hope is a waking dream."

- Aristotle

Only a Day Late

Things for which I'm thankful...

• My husband & best friend, my roommate & lover
• My family
• My friends... those that allow me to lean
• My mutter dogs
• My home
• Getting to see my nephews and niece twice in one week!!
• Getting to FINALLY end the torture that was job hunting
• The Beatles... Specifically George for conceptualizing LOVE. And my parents for gifting me such an amazing experience
• The migrating butterflies that I saw last Sunday
• For 2008 almost being over
• For the talk I had last night with my wiser, older bro... For his insight
• My neighbors, because they're pretty cool
• My idealism
• For second chances...

Butterflies and Sand Dunes

This was the only grounded butterfly that I spotted.... Well, that Matt spotted...

And this was the only airborn butterfly my camera actually caught

Our little campground with our big, tough guard dogs

Scenic

Trail to the beach

Wynn leading the way

Bliss

King of the mountain

Over Roughing It

Today was supposed to be our last day camping. And actually, the rain held out longer than we had anticipated. But after breakfast yesterday, using our not-so-roughing-it devices, we observed a very large thunder storm headed our way. We lasted until about 3pm in our tent, in the rain before deciding to pack up and head to, if not a drier place, a place that could keep us drier and keep our dogs from looking at us like they were strapped in constant torture devices.

The trip, while it lasted, was really nice. I feel like we're professional campers now. We had gourmet dinners and a warm bed. It helps that the camp site was all-inclusive. Picnic bench, fire pit, water spout... Lap of luxury, I'm telling you.

The dunes and the beach were gorgeous. Wynnie got her first ocean experience, and she was thrilled, to say the least. Thel, being the old bitty that she is, was content to hang out with us on the wet sand.

...Amongst other things... One of the highlights? ...I did see some monarch butterflies! Do I have to convince you of how excited I was?? Though they weren't in the swarming masses as I had imagined.......

...Pictures to follow...

Pismo or Bust

From noon on, we've been shopping and packing for our triiip to Pismo. I really wish I could say that we're done. ...The plan is a three night stay in the dunes... Not a lot a time, right? However, we have somehow managed to tetris-like pack Matt's Grand Cherokee to the point where I'm surprised I have room to fit. Or the mutts for that matter. I'm considering ear plugs for all the whining we'll be enduring.

Weather.com originally threw our hopes with a puffy clouds and sunshine forecast, but has recently withdrawn its estimation and replaced it with a cloudy Monday and possible showery Tuesday and Wednesday.

I suppose you can't have two great trips within the time span of one week.

Maybe monarch butterflies like the rain.

More Mania

Wish I could have taken this wall home with me...

Loved Me Some LOVE

This show was EVERYTHING I could have dreamt up and more. In fact, I cried through the first three songs. Yep. Tears streaming. ....I am not proud. But it was an emotional experience! Especially when they start with the acapella "Because the world is round......" - I didn't stand a chance. .....Our seats were amazing. At one point they covered us in a gigantic white sheet! ...Thinking about it, I suppose that's a little hard to imagine. But confetti! And dismantled vw bugs! And disappearing stages! And Lucy in the sky! .....This show hit all your senses! I believe they were even burning incense! ... And, well... I of course, had my rum and coke.

Can you see me?

A little camera play

So, outside of the show, we managed to stay up until 4am both nights. Not too much gambling... Lots of video poker. After LOVE, we trekked from the Wynn to Excalibur. Yep, we had to cab it back.

I'd say Matt and I made the most of our Vegas get away. And are now paying dearly, but happily, for it.

VEGAS OR BUST!

So this morning we're hopping our flight to Vegas...

The debauchery begins at approximately 3pm, when our plane lands... We have the rest of that day to hit the penny slots (what? I haven't started work yet) and enjoy some video poker. We haven't been there in about two years, so there's some exploring of the strip yet to do...

Thursday may bring on some sun worship poolside, if the weather permits... More gambling (ie more drinking)... a nice dinner... AND THEN....... LOVE starts at 10pm.

I have been whining to see this show since I heard that it was even be a possibility... I think I read a small article about it in some random magazine, and from that point... It was ON. ...The idea originally transpired between George Harrison and one of the Cirque du Soleil founders, Guy Laliberte, and quickly received the remaining Beatles' approval (even Yoko's!). Six years later... Tickets were on sale.

It's been around for two years and needless to say, my parents are making one of my life dreams come true. I'm not exaggerating here. A life dream.

...Ummm.... Have I mentioned that I'm a Beatles Freak?

VIVA LAS VEGAS, PEOPLE!

...Back to the real world on Friday.

Reconstruction

Credit is given where credit is due. ...So goes the old adage. ...If only that's how it really worked.

And it's me and my idealism that promotes vulnerability when this old adage doesn't add up.

...Long ago, I deconstructed the wall I built. Allowed trust and codependence and comfort to tear it down brick by brick.

And now when there is even a notion... Even a sense of being forgotten... Of being left alone. I have nothing but debris surrounding me. Nothing left to protect my ideals. My heart.

And this deconstructed wall... As I watched it fall... I was arrogant and believed it was something I would never need again.

...But I suppose that everyone needs their own. And I'm only learning that now.

Moving Along

Way back when birthdays were still exciting, I used to gauge how close mine would be by movie commercials.

Once a movie would be coming out, on or around December 7th, the promotions began about three weeks prior... That's when I knew I could start getting excited.

Funny that I still notice these things....

Last year wasn't so bad. My age was a good, round number. One-quarter century. Your exact mid-twenties. Soon it'll be the ascent into the latter.

In a lot of ways, I'm not sad to see my youth go. The insecurity, the mistakes, the inexperience, the "rose-colored glasses"..... I'm even told that past my twenties, I'll find comfort in my own skin. I can definitely get used to that....

Last year, twenty five allowed me to rent a car independently, and lower my car insurance premium.

But the up and coming two-six... This marks the beginning of no more perks... Of hoping the waitress will card you... And of the aging process in general.

I suppose there are happier thoughts to be had here.... But 26 is not an all-inspiring number, and in fact is only inspiring the lack of idealism that this post emanates.

And so it ends.

Color me employed. It's official.

I got the call this afternoon... I start the second week of December, which is good with all the out of town-ness I have planned in the coming weeks.

Bloody hell. It's been quite the ride. Almost five months to the day, in fact....

May as well have been a hotel....

I think it was a 12-hour day for the boys yesterday. I only lasted about six. So if Saturday was laying down drums and bass, then yesterday consisted of guitar and vocals.

There's three tracks total, which doesn't sound like much to the average ear... But you'd be amazed at the amount of work that goes into this S. I was/am. And they still have the mixing and mastering to do...

Anyway, kudos boys. Your sound is incendiary. I can't wait to post it as my next earful.

where the magic happens

ryan letting it ring out

kris stepping in to lay it down

Ruining the Studio

So yesterday I had the distinct pleasure of hanging out in the recording studio with The Ruin as they lay down their first true demo. I'm there as the unofficial photog, really... But it was cool to get to see all the geeky equipment and to see the boys at their best...

playing it back

not sure what this thing does, but I liked all the lights...

what the boys were relegated to in the off time...

Yesterday turned out to be a 10-hour day for them, and they're back at it today. .....And so am I.

OK Then...

What I've learned, but will likely soon forget: Do not post blogs after a long night of getting reacquainted with good ol' Jack D.

(Sorry, the typos and nonsensical gibberish that was previously featured below is
now gone forever.)

Feel the LOVE

So, I wrote about the early surprise Christmas gift my parents had planned for us... You know the one we knew absolutely nothing about.

Well today we got a big white box in the mail that we had strict instructions not to open until both parents were on the phone. .....After 5 hours of impatiently waiting, we got the call.

By speaker phone, we began the unwrapping.... The box was wrapped in half birthday/half Christmas paper, (due to the fact that my birthday's coming up... a "Birthmas" gift, if you will), Matt opened the Christmas portion and I opened the birthday portion..

So what did that tidy box contain? A bunch of paper...Yes... Maybe to you, my friend.

But to us, it was VEGAS! Vegas in a box! ...A pass to a fancy buffet, a chance to see Sigfried and Roy's Jungle Museum........ Not to mention THE MOST IMPORTANT F'ING PART.

Two passes to see LOVE. At the Mirage. .....And I don't even have to lose a limb!

What more could a girl ask for? "Getting the F out of Dodge" is so Vegas' m.o........

My parents not only set up the show, but they set up with board, the flight, the transport, and the food. Whoooooooo in the world could be luckier? N0, seriously, I challenge you.

Peace out starting Wednesday. I will be in Heaven on earth. Or what you might refer to the Beatles' best of.

THANK YOU MOM & DAD. YOU KNEW THIS BEFORE, BUT YOU'RE THE BEST!

Burning Time

I spent the better half of last night ripping my cds and uploading them onto my ipod. Over the past 10 years, and past countless computer crashes, I've lost over 400 mp3s. That translates to over $400 today. Back then, it was free.

The only ipod that still held the candle for all those lost mp3s finally lost its light about a year ago, and I have since been working on building my new ipod up to the old one's glory. This includes taking all my new cds and transferring over the music. It's kind of a bitch.

But I've gone from 954 songs to 1506 last night. And I have still have 23 gigs to fill.

Success Consists... of Enthusiasm

"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm."

~ Winston Churchill

Done & Now Said

Yeah, well life ain't been too kind... And in my young, naive mind, that was all supposed to end with you.

People say I'm supposed to find some pleasure in your loss. In your short-lived fairy tale and its crash-course ending.

But the honest truth is - I don't.

And though our last departure was basically saturated in your efforts of ripping every last decent piece of my heart to shreds, I still want to see you happy.

Because I know that I am.

And for a long time I doubted the things that transpired between us. I still wondered. What if.

But I have a peace now that I can only wish for you.

And I do.

"We are choosing hope over fear..."

I suppose Barack said it best.

The closer to the middle of this week gets, the more anxious I find myself becoming. It's really not on purpose, you know. If I had any power over the anxiety factor, my life might be a lot smoother of a ride.

The conversation I had with my Guru the day before my interview made more than a lot of sense. I got more than the "slow down" speech, which was needed, and more of the "if it's meant to be, it will be" philosophy to follow.

Things I already know. Things that I've already been educated of. ...Yet things I need to be reminded of, because once I'm caught up in that moment... All focus and all logic is lost. I might as well be a deer caught in headlights.

He made a great point, this Guru of mine. About Empowerment. He tied it all into Barack, which made it even easier for me to read. ...All of these people I am handing applications into, and anyone who is and isn't calling back... These people that I am sitting across the desk from, trying to comply as they wished I would. Answering questions as only I could imagine they'd wished to hear.

Only to go home and wait. And wonder. ...Was it good enough? Was I good enough?

My Guru's magnificent point was...... That I was empowering them. Too much. These people I hardly knew were going to dictate my worth. And here I was, letting them. ...Fear in place of hope. I'm living in the dark. Allowing strangers to light my way.

And I suppose it will be a series of stumbles and bruises and falls until I teach myself otherwise.

Surprise Surprise

As a Christmas gift this year, my parents informed us that in place of anything tangible, they would be needing three dates where we'd be available to travel freely. With no questions asked.

Perhaps I'm being a bit pretentious, but with a possible job on the horizon, and such a large trip already planned at the end of the month, we decided to take them up early on our surprise gift and will be taking off to our surprise location on the 19th of this month.

All we know is that there will be some driving involved... With some "information to follow".

It'll be awesome to get the F out of Dodge. And it's totally fun to speculate. The world is our oyster! Well, maybe not the world in three days, but I love the fact that they plotted and are springing something so top secret on us! Knowing my dad, we can literally not expect that "information to follow" until the day of. Yay for adventures! And for surprises! ...Well, the good kind.

So, the closer we get, the more excited we get! ......With no idea why.

New Friends

So we were finally able to break (some of) our neighborhood's antisocial tendencies and had what looks to be the only other young, kid-less couple on our block over for dinner last night.

He is a police officer, which is pretty awesome because his patrol car is constantly parked at the entrance of our cul de sac, and basically translates to constant security. She's close to getting in to a nursing program. We found that all out while out walking our dogs late one night, and passing them while they were out chilling in their drive way with a couple glasses of red. Needless to say, they are very cool, very laid back people. So we had a little bbq, watched ourselves some dvr'd Office and ended up gathered around the firepit last night with some light beers and good conversation. Even some leading to politics, which I desperately tried to avoid... But thankfully didn't end in them leaving early.

As for the rest of the neighbors, we have some directly next door who are extremely friendly. From Louisiana, so have the whole Southern Hospitality vibe going on, and enjoy including you in any conversation they may be having at any given moment as you're walking by. You know, about his mother back in Louisiana, or about their kid's day at school or soccer game, or about her day at work. Interesting stuff.

Then we have homeboy across the street that will one day be completely normal and give you the friendly, neighborly and wave. And then, the next day respond to your friendly wave with a blank stare, and perhaps an out-of-earshot grunt and walk away. It's my unprofessional diagnosis that he is bipolar.

The couple at end of the block seem too snobby to wave.

We do have some Mormons down the street that are nice. They've yet to preach/attempt to convert us, for which we're thankful. But yes, they were the ones advertising the 'Yes on Prop 8' nonsense in their front yard. Now, I know you're not supposed to judge people based on political beliefs, but this prop happened to be close to my heart. And I simply don't believe in shoving your political beliefs in other peoples' faces on a daily basis. They do have three cute kids though. More on the way, perhaps?

And as for the rest, they are fully the keep-to-yourselves type. But I'm stoked to finally get to know at least one set of neighbors past a friendly wave. I'm even happier to find out they're cool people.

Finally in the Game

My interview went pretty well yesterday. You can never be too confident because you can never be too sure of what they're looking for. That, and they all have good poker faces.

I haven't had many interviews since my lay off. This was my first, actually. And out of the whole job-hunting process, I feel like interviews are the one thing I can always knock out of the park.

Now, as far as sustaining that batting average once brought on board... That's what gets me nervous.

I get the final score sometime next week.

Never Cease to be Entertained

"Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained."

~ John Powell

A Break in the Cycle

I scored a job interview on Thursday with a pretty well-known vocational school for a position as an Enrollment Recruiter. I had an orientation to go to on Tuesday first, which I was told a "few" other people would be attending, just to get a feel for what the position would be like. The "few" turned out to be 52. And I turned out to be the youngest in attendance.

First thing's first, they asked everyone to get up, introduce themselves, and give a "one minute" explanation as to why they would be a good fit for this school. I had the pleasure of being the last person in the room to go. (What HADN'T been said?) ...It didn't help that I was literally one of two people without any prior HR or recruiting/enrollment experience.

So I had it set up in my head. You know... The clearly defined bullet points of why I'm the perfect candidate. And I'm sure you know how that story ends.

But I must have done something right.

...In addition to my inexperience and my flubbed-up one-minute first impression, I was surprised to get a call back because out of those 52 hopefuls, they were only planning to hire 4. That would give me a 7.7% chance of actually landing this gig. ...I don't quite know how many people got the call back, so I don't know where my percentage stands now, but I'm told it should have increased. You know, slightly.

So I'm off to fill out the ten essay questions my interviewer sent my way and would like me to have completed before Thursday. All past situational-type customer service experience questions. Good times.

Keep your toes crossed.

Go! Go! Go!

And get yourself a sticker!!
(And um, NO ON PROP 8!)

I'll Show You Mine If You Show Me Yours

Last night Matt and I did the unspeakable. We compared ballot selections.

It was our second date, I believe, that politics snuck its way into the conversation. It was only then that the theory of avoiding religion and politics in the discussion with friends made sense...

The short version goes that I am passionate about politics. Perhaps overly passionate. Yet, not all politics apply. Then, it was specific to the puppet who happened to be Commander and Chief. .......I believe it was around this time I had an across-the-table discussion with my father regarding W., ending with him suggesting that my only recourse was to go live in the woods and live off of bark.

Needless to say, that second date saw some additional heat, but not exactly the kind you'd hope for. From then on, Matt and I made a pact that politics would be a non-topic. Out of fear it would lead to a non-us.

That was close to six years ago, and I'd like to think we've evolved. During the debates this year, we had a motto ~ No debating the debate. Simple observation. And it worked.

It looks like we may cancel each other out on quite a few issues... Including the most significant one of all. But the important thing is we're out in the trenches and making sure we're heard on an individual level.

And on a personal level.......... Look at us, all mature and stuff.

Two Prissy Snouts

For the past three consecutive nights I have had to wake up and let the dogs out to pee. It's like I'm re-living their puppyhood.

Why, you ask? Because they are complete and utter wusses when it comes to the rain. Wait, no... It's not just rain. Because even if there isn't a drop falling from the sky, they still look at me anxiously like, "But MOM, the GROUND IS WET."

Matt said Wynn ran out the dog door two days ago and must have set a world record for reentry... She then proceeded to shake as hard as she could because the two drops that hit her surely would have made her melt.

Last year during rain season Wynn was in the midst of potty training, so it was a behavior we had prepared ourselves for. And Thelma was always such a lady and would just hold it...

And maybe it's because it's so early in the season, but I swear they are holding it until they're about to asplode. ...Which always seems to be right around the time mommy has drifted into a deep, dreamy sleep.

Who Needs the Movies?

Matt installed the rest of our surround sound on Friday, and last night we watched Transformers... (which got bad reviews that I fully disagree with).

Anyway, our couch vibrates. How much fun is that? And the bullets? They whiz right over my head!

This combined with Netflix may rule movie theaters out completely.

Especially when I went at like 3pm to see Burn After Reading in mid October and didn't get the matinee price. What the shit is that?

It's Ovah

I have been waiting about five years to get these covered up...

.....And after nearly three hours of needle goodness, and the work of a very talented artist... This is what I walked limped away with:

(click to check out the detail)

......Stars? What stars?