"We are choosing hope over fear..."

I suppose Barack said it best.

The closer to the middle of this week gets, the more anxious I find myself becoming. It's really not on purpose, you know. If I had any power over the anxiety factor, my life might be a lot smoother of a ride.

The conversation I had with my Guru the day before my interview made more than a lot of sense. I got more than the "slow down" speech, which was needed, and more of the "if it's meant to be, it will be" philosophy to follow.

Things I already know. Things that I've already been educated of. ...Yet things I need to be reminded of, because once I'm caught up in that moment... All focus and all logic is lost. I might as well be a deer caught in headlights.

He made a great point, this Guru of mine. About Empowerment. He tied it all into Barack, which made it even easier for me to read. ...All of these people I am handing applications into, and anyone who is and isn't calling back... These people that I am sitting across the desk from, trying to comply as they wished I would. Answering questions as only I could imagine they'd wished to hear.

Only to go home and wait. And wonder. ...Was it good enough? Was I good enough?

My Guru's magnificent point was...... That I was empowering them. Too much. These people I hardly knew were going to dictate my worth. And here I was, letting them. ...Fear in place of hope. I'm living in the dark. Allowing strangers to light my way.

And I suppose it will be a series of stumbles and bruises and falls until I teach myself otherwise.